Fifty Shades of Grey – A Husband’s Point of View

A Poem by Pam Ayres

The missus bought a Paperback
down Shepton Mallet way
I had a look inside her bag
T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.

Well I just left her to it
And at ten I went to bed
An hour later she appeared
The sight filled me with dread.

In her left hand she held a rope
And in her right a whip
She threw them down upon the floor
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago
I might have had a peek
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well
She’s eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind
Could not have been much grimmer
And things then went from bad to worse
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet
A couple minutes later
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominator !!

Now if you knew our Mabel
You’d see just why I spluttered
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out
My God what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out
Step on the other one!!

Well readers, I can tell no more
Of what occurred that day
Suffice to say my jet black hair
Turned fifty shades of grey.

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Credit: Thanks Pamela and Joan
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