Nursery Rhymes – With a Modern Twist

Nursery Rhymes won’t die out if we keep them updated – some suggestions………


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

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It’s Raining
It’s Pouring
Of course
It’s Global Warming.

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Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can’t keep his heart rate down
And she’s got diabetes.

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Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it’s butt
And turned it’s wool to nylon.

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Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too – he’s funny that way.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
And grabbed her ass
Now two teeth are missing.

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Mary had a little lamb
It’s fleece was black as soot
And every where the lamb did go
It’s sooty foot it put.

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Credit: Thanks Pamela
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