Just Saying…..


I’m not saying let’s go kill all the stupid people. I’m just saying let’s remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

 



I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

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You can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she’s probably angry.

 



I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

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Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

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You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

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I don’t like making plans for the day because then the word “premeditated” get’s thrown around in the courtroom.

 



I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

 


Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers; if you find one, what’s your plan?

 


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Credit: Thanks Pamela
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