A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, “Doctor doctor, I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replied “I know, I amputated your arms!”
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says “Dam!”
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into
a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. “But why” they asked, as they moved off. “Because” he said “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt , and is named ‘Ahmal.’ The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him ‘Juan.’ Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked
barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.
And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!
Oh dear ……the ones that make you groan……
Webster’s definition of ‘pun’ – usually humorous use of a word in such a way as to suggest two or more of its meanings or the meaning of another word similar in sound.
Credit: Thanks Joan